Here's something I wish someone had told me years ago:

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Joy is not something you have to earn.

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Not with productivity. Not with a clean house. Not with a cleared inbox or a perfectly executed morning routine.

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But when you live with ADHD, it can feel like joy needs to be deserved.
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Like you haven’t done “enough” to earn the right to relax.
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Like fun, rest, or even a snack you enjoy has to be withheld until you’ve suffered your way through the to-do list.

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And honestly? That mindset not only sucks, it's counterproductive.

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Because ADHD brains struggle with motivation and task initiation to begin with. And when we start cutting off the things that regulate and replenish us — things that bring us actual dopamine — we end up stuck in a shame/productivity cycle:

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• We don’t do the thing.
• We feel bad.
• So we deny ourselves anything joyful.
• Now we feel worse.
• So we still don’t do the thing.

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Sound familiar?

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In this week’s episode of ADHD Adult(ish), I’m talking about:

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• Why ADHDers often treat joy like a reward (and how that backfires)
• The difference between numbing your brain and doing something you enjoy — and why that matters
• What to do when you let yourself have fun … but still don’t get anything done
• What’s actually making the task hard (hint: it’s not a motivation issue)
• ADHD-friendly ways to regulate, build momentum, and celebrate the damn wins

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🎧 Listen now​

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Whether you’re stuck in avoidance, tired of feeling guilty for not being “productive enough,” or just need someone to say, “Hey, fun is allowed,” — this one’s for you.

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Give it a listen. Give yourself a break. And please, for the love of dopamine, go do something that makes you feel good just because.

You don’t have to earn that.

Cheers,
​Kim

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